In the city there's a thousand men in uniform: baggy shorts and a faded t-shirt from some imagined truck-stop or diner. And as it's far too hot for beanies, last year's trilby's and straw hats to conceal the thinning pate.
That's excepting the ones who are dressed as Johnny Borrell. Johnny Borrell???? What could possess a man to ape the sartorial misadventures of a 24 carat twunt like Borrell.
Anyway. We're at 1234 Shoreditch. A little free festival in the East End. And it's not at all a bad way to spend a Sunday. Albeit in the slightly mixed company of Shoreditch twats and honest to goodness East End parklife.
And there's some pretty good stuff on offer. The Weekender Records tent showcases their roster, and is, on the whole, a little commercial for my tastes, but they're clearly pushing the right buttons. Subliminal Girls one of the better offerings, if only for their track Mirror, ripping into the local victims. There's not a pair of skinny jeans in the tent by the end of it.
The Sensitive Youth stage has more to see, including the potentially excellent Pull in Emergency. Potentially excellent, as they, or Mute, have yet to realise that their jailbait lead singer should be on bass, and the bassist should be upfront. But, since they're about 14, they've got time to learn.
On the main stage, Tiger Force charm me with their edgy boy/girl combo that takes me back to Adult. And then, somewhat bizarrely at a free festival in a public park, we have Selfish C**t. Which might seem a bold choice for a mid-afternoon slot. And across the site, children turn to their parents in varying states of bewilderment and distress, asking "mommy, why has Mika gone emo?". It's a tiresome performance which proves once again that you can take the boy out of Hoxton, but we'd really rather you didn't.
Neils Children, back on the Sensitive Youth stage have the best turned out fans
But are frankly ill mannered themselves. Getting stroppy with the stage crew is not big, and it's not clever. It's indulged from the next big thing; but almost rans like Neils Children might consider being a bit more civil; they're going to need some references for those call centre jobs they're going to be getting.
I make my excuses and leave before Har Mar Superstar, I've seen pop's own Ron Jeremy before, and a little of the 'warthog of love' goes a long way.
