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Please send me evenings and weekends
First week back, and have writers cramp from signing leaving cards. 5 so far, including 3 people who have nothing to go to. That's the real acid test of an organisation in decline, people who'd rather stack shelves at Aldi than work for them. Even at FUKD plc people stuck it out until they could find something better (gay porn, medical trials).
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6.4.06 19:46
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There's never a revolver around when you need it
Inside the National there's blood and sinew, fire and passion. Art that strains from the walls with it's anima. Outside, there's the fourth plinth. Upon which Marc Quinn's sculpture of Alison Lapper squats mawkishly. Put your ear up to the milk bland stone and you can actually hear it whine "but it's for charidy......".
Amazingly, Quinn has been able to surpass this inanity with his latest offering - Sphinx; a depiction of Kate Moss (Moss it seems has replaced the cum-stained Messiah as a muse for fading YBAs). Trite as a teenage valentine, it has the cultural resonance of last week's Heat.
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16.4.06 22:38
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And I would have gotten away with it too....
2005 rolled gently into the buffers at 100% of target. Not 95% or (perish the thought) 105%, but 100%. A feat of no small achievement (if not effort). Requiring a thorough understanding of the business to set the numbers in the first place, and a deft hand on the tiller to steer the course throughout the year. I really don't think there's enough credit given for the ability to be that idle, whilst still achieving the required objective.
Q1 06 started in a similar vein. Whilst they had dragged a 1.5% uplift on 05 out of me for this year's budget, things are ticking along nicely. I've had to hobble a few initiatives so the numbers don't overrun the targets, but broadly speaking, plain sailing.
Right up to the point our fuckwit MI department announce that the monthly reported figures are wrong, and have been for some time. The 2005 outturn is down (not a major issue, I've already been paid my bonus); but more pressingly, it kicks a hole in the 06 figures, to the tune of many, many £m. My carefully crafted 1.5%, is now looking like 6.5%.
It's not so much the magnitude of the error, it's the noncommittal attitude to the mistake - 'oh yeah, the numbers are wrong'; it's like 'you fucked up, you trusted us'. So I've got to get off my arse, simply because they can't add up - it's not good enough.
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18.4.06 21:23
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White powder addiction
Managed to ski Breckenridge, Copper, Vail, Keystone and A Basin during the trip. Got to see a lot of the country, just riding on the local buses. At 7.30am, the only other passengers are maids or construction workers; off to build the latest batch of ski-in/ski-out condos creeping up the slopes. Conversely, my ski-out was 40 minutes, and a couple of bus changes away.
But it was worth it, to get the range of skiing available. Breck and Vail are quite corporate. The expert runs have names like 'Boneyard' or 'Psychopath' - cause that looks good on a t-shirt. At A Basin, they're called 'Dave's Run' or 'Matt's Gulley' - cause they're the only guys who've skied them. Toughest marked runs in any resort I've skied, and I've got the bruised ego and cracked rib to prove it.
The altitude was a killer. You can ride a snowcat up most of the way, but then it's throwing your skis over your shoulder and hiking. At 13,000ft, a climb which looks like nothing, becomes an Everest expedition. I'm gasping for breath every hundred feet watching the locals trudge past me.
It's (kind of) worth it. Get up above the lifts and the nature of the skiing changes. On-piste you've got a fair degree of confidence that they wouldn't put anything on the map that could actually kill you (A Basin excepted). Get beyond that it's just the mountain: wind blown cornices arching out into space; slopes that drop away so steeply you can stand there, reach out and touch the snow.
It's equal parts exhilaration and intimidation. The beauty is in the bigness; the stillness; and the failure. Getting your ass comprehensively kicked by the mountain; looking over the edge, but choosing to walk away - it all means the journey is not over.
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27.4.06 23:51
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