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Seasons Grittings
Thought it would be a good idea to go in between Xmas and New Year but time inched by, minute by minute. Hardly anyone in, and those that are, are too preoccupied with keeping their jobs to kick back and have fun - it's pretty much a preview of what the place is going to look like once the redundancies are completed, and 30% of the people are chopped.
What conversations there are, are fixed on the Christmas experience. For men this is a 60 second "good....ate loads....drank loads..... got <technological gadget>". The ladies on the other hand seem to be undertaking a minute by minute replay of every minor detail. With the desks too close together after the move I now know all too much about - who bought the socks; who didn't like the socks; how Aunty Flo wrapped her presents; how Aunty Flo unwrapped her presents; the precise viscosity and hue of gravy from Exeter to Auchtermucty; the various failing of 'his' mother's culinary skills; how cheap 'his' sister looked in that top; and all the other seething undercurrents of family life.
It's quite clear that the concept of 'goodwill to all men' doesn't extend to ex-husbands - "he can spend £xx on an Ipod but can't stump up £xx for ...." was very much a recurrent theme.
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1.1.06 11:29
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You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You
Wandering, fairly aimlessly, through the sales, seeing people descending, locust-like on over-priced tat reduced 'for 1 day only' from the ludicrously expensive to the merely risible. Saddest of all are those are those grasping arriviste desperately trying to buy good taste by seizing upon those lazy signifiers of style
Foremost amongst these at the moment seems to be the utterly preposterous Smeg fridge, but there are a host of others:
Dualit toaster
B&O Av equipment
Corbusier sofa
Aga (if your house is connected to mains utilities)
Alessi lemon squeezer
Le Creuset corkscrew
Siemens Porsche kettle (in fact anything Porsche which doesn't start with a 9)
Ipod
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1.1.06 11:50
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In 2006 I will:
Leave my job
Become less enraged at the inane twittering of over-paid and under-talented newspaper columnists
Sign a band
Stop buying dense management strategy textbooks in the hopeless belief that their knowledge can be passed to me via osmosis, rather than actually having to read them.
Understand 'Beyond Good and Evil'
Complete the screenplay, and get it optioned
Blog more often
Bench 300lb (terribly narcissistic I know)
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1.1.06 13:24
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Train ticket: £30
Taxi to the reception: £6
Bride's mother introducing me to everyone as the bride's 'first love': priceless
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22.1.06 12:13
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Protocol - Where's the Pleasure
I saw Protocol in September. They have the distinction of having the most unfeasibly pretty frontman. Basically, they're the band Duran Duran's kids would form. It's glossy 80s synth-pop, efficiently delivered. It's feels like Electroclash has finally reached puberty. It leaves me utterly cold, but I'd sign them in a heartbeat.
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22.1.06 12:26
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Trouble at mill
The tenants are frothing themselves into quite the frenzy of moral outrage this evening over the invasion of spam porn. The blame sits squarely with the landlord of course. 20six has always been slow off the mark at clearing out commercial sites - is Miami Criminal Lawyer a personal friend of the family? Any emails to abuse@20six.co.uk are completely ignored. So shouldn't be a great surprise if an enterprising spammer see a wide open site, and takes advantage of it.
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24.1.06 00:03
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BigCo's latest wheeze to wring those extra drops of blood from the stone is to target Head Office staff. A crack team of salespeople went desk to desk on Friday pimping our wares to the juniors - using sales techniques which would get them a starring role on Watchdog if they tried them out on the public.
These are staff who only a few weeks ago saw 30% of their colleagues being chopped. They're now being grilled on why they're not supporting the company: "we know you don't currently have < >, why is that?"
We now seem to be the Amway of the industry
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28.1.06 10:33
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