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meet the new boss......
BigCo got taken over. My new boss is a little too close to Mr Motivator for comfort. He started on the tills and has worked his way up to the top - a self made man, who worships his creator. I am pretty sure that he will have no time for 'book learning', or any 'fancy theories'. In fact, I am prepared to wager a substantial sum of money on the fact that, as with Mr Motivator, he will doubtless possess a number of those psychopathic personality traits so useful in climbing the corporate ladder.
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4.12.05 19:44
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JCB Song
I had, naively, thought Nizlopi was just your run of the mill Christmas trash. But having listened to the pair in a radio interview, I now know the song has a 'message'. Poor little Luke was bullied at school because "I had dyslexia...<anticipatory pause>". The pause, of course is for the other party to drop in the required 'how awful', 'so brave' or other such bollocks. My memory may be a little hazy, but if I recall my school days, it was the kids who did read who were getting their heads stuck down the toilets.
Needless to say he's "worked a lot doing music workshops with kids"; and now he's foisting this banal claptrap on the wider population. I urge you to buy Westlife's single, and spare us all from this toss.
I've nothing but sympathy for people who do suffer from dyslexia, but that pause; that 'ohh pity me' pause - makes me want to gag.
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17.12.05 21:42
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Capitalism stole my virginity
The pre-Christmas redundancy round is on again. Emails are sent round on Thursday telling people to gather at a nearby hotel the next morning. Friday am arrives, with one of the lackeys telling the assembled crowd - 'a third of you wont have jobs by the end of today' - an excellent start to the morning. The rest of the day is spent with people waiting for their number to come up.
I survived again <making stacks of cash is a dull, but useful undertaking>, but have obviously been 'reorganised'. I now have a new postroom code and phone number, but am doing the same job I was doing last week. Reorganisation being the standard management tool to attempt to take the workers minds of their current situation.
It also offers BigCo the opportunity to introduce a little bit of apartied. Those unfortunates who have been chopped, but are still working their notice, have been shoved in the far corner of the building. Segregated away from the rest of us - out of sight, out of mind.
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18.12.05 19:12
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serve cold
One of my last tasks at FUKD plc was to assess the potential acquisition of a grubby little company the MD had his eye on. My conclusion was to pass on the deal. But, since the FUKD plc Board possessed unsurpassed levels of corporate arrogance (well, unsurpassed until I spent time with BigCOs new owners....), they went ahead anyway.
So it was pleasant to read in the weekend papers that it had tanked spectacularly:
Buying a business in a declining market - £100m
Failing to make a go of it - £35m
Getting out of the deal - £150m
Saying I told you so - priceless
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18.12.05 20:05
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Xmas 2005 mix CD
01. Art Brutffice ffice" /> |
Good Weekend |
02. Arctic Monkeys |
Fake Tales of San Francisco |
03. The Cribs |
You Were Always the One |
04. Little Flames |
Put Your Dukes Up John |
05. Arcade Fire |
Neighbourhood #3 (Power Out) |
06. White Rose Movement |
Alsatian |
07. VHS or Beta |
Night on Fire |
08. The Maccabees |
Run For Your Life |
09. The Rifles |
Local Boy |
10. Good Shoes |
Never Meant to Hurt You |
11. Amusement Parks on Fire |
Venus in Cancer |
12. Clor |
Good Stuff |
13. Battle |
Tendency |
14. Maximo Park |
Going Missing |
15. Editors |
Bullets |
16. We Are Scientists |
Nobody Move, Nobody Gets Hurt |
17. 65 Days of Static |
I Swallowed Hard, Like I Understood |
18. The Chalets |
Nightrock |
19. The Crimea |
Lottery Winners on Acid |
20. Sons and Daughters |
Dance Me In |
21. The Modern |
Jane Falls Down |
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19.12.05 18:45
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The horror.....the horror
Finally got over the bitter taste of the Office Party. We went to a 'Function Room' (the function was quite clearly to instil despair in all who entered). It was one of those set-ups where there's multiple parties at the event. So a the start the DJ called a register, and we had the opportunity to shout our attendance.
The food was a buffet, which had obviously been on the hotplate since the early morning. Turkey "with all the trimmings!" (a prospect appetising as "..drawn, and quartered!"). It's hardly shooting for the stars is it, a turkey dinner. There's people here who'll be facing about 17 turkey dinners ("with all the trimmings!") before the end of the festive season.
The pushed the boat out for desert though - a chocolate fountain (yes that is as revolting as it sounds). Crowds of people queuing up to dip profiteroles on sticks into brown gloop.
I sought solace in drink. Surveying their limited list, I selected a sauvignon blanc; to be met with a reply from the barmaid - "is that the white one?" - that was the point I should have ran from the building....
Needless to say the entertainment was as offensive as the wine. An Abba tribute band - two hefty shopgirls, with legs like a cold turkey platter, brutalising the songs.
Fun, but not as we know it.
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31.12.05 15:25
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