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white powder addiction
I will be quite literally out of the office for the next few weeks. I'm off skiing in Whistler. I left BigCo with a spring in my step bang on 5pm, and am already on the slopes in my head.
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2.4.04 23:55
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Glasto no go
I'm spending an increasing amount of time in the company of Blonde Poppet. Which is leading me to agree to things I would not ordinarily agree to. One of which was going to Glastonbury this year. My agreement was eased by her suggestion that we hire a mobile home, rather than, god forbid camp.
But it was all for nothing. I spent an unproductive 5 hours on the phone and web last night without getting anywhere near booking a ticket.
112,000 other people did, and I hope they enjoy the show. It's difficult to see how the process could be run more effectively. Obviously using a company which has a basic grasp of forecasting might help - "ok so they sold out in 24 hours last year, we're placing increasing restrictions on this year which will slow the process and generate considerably more traffic..........nah, no need to upgrade the servers, it'll be fine"
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3.4.04 00:20
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Spring Skiing
Urgh.....
Death crud in the morning, slush in the afternoon. My legs are like jelly after a week and my style is completely out the window. The only thing impressive has been the falls.
Skiing beneath the chairlift - normally the place for good mogul runs, with the added advantage of suitably impressed young ski bunnies and boarder babes. But at 8.30am its as hard as an ice rink with moguls as big as volkswagens.
So it's one, two, three....smash!!!! head first off the bump, upside down in the snow. Cue cheers of amusement from the lift above - bastards! Obviously then there's the 10 minutes hiking back up to get your skis, finding the one piece of snow that isn't glass to put them on, then trying not to repeat the performance.
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9.4.04 22:41
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I like to keep up to date with the goings on at FUKD plc. Mainly for the amusement value - BigCo just does not compare.
I was however, distressed to learn that fortune has smiled on Mr Motivator. He has managed to weasel his way into the affections of FUKD plc's luscious Office Manager. This is depressing news. In my imagination I see him alone and friendless in his cold empty rooms, with only his psychosis to keep him company. Not enjoying a very cool, and very leggy brunette (who, it has to be said, spurned my advances on a number of occasions.....)
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27.4.04 20:35
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V2004
After the Glastonbury debacle, I've secured tickets to V2004. Far more my cup of tea anyway - stadium seating; interval drinks; valet parking.
I think the get the tickets, sort out the accommodation later strategy for Glasto would have been unwise. I would have doubtless spent the weekend crashing in a tepee with some patchouli stinking, rainbow hand-knit wearing, brown-rice snorting, dole-scrounging, dog stringin, preposterous kid namin hippies. Which would result in me taking unfeasibly large quantities of bad acid, dropping out, changing my name to Smoog, taking up tofu sculpting and moving to Goa. Decades from now, maddened by coconut brandy, mid-day sun and home cooked barbiturates I'd dance for bottle tops in the foyer of some anonymous package tour hotel.............
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27.4.04 21:11
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It's the small things I miss from FUKD plc
I miss the opportunity to scratch my genitals. I never took the opportunity, but it was somewhat comforting to know that if I ever did feel so inclined - in a meeting, or over coffee - it was perfectly normal behaviour.
I miss swearing. The rhythm it brings to your speech. The simple pleasure of a good, well-chosen invective. The loss of the most appropriate vocabulary to describe a particular person/situation.
I miss being able to call someone a useless fuckwit. In fact, the next useless fuckwit who says "mmm good challenge" when I point out - in the mealy-mouthed BigCo vocabulary - that they are useless, and a fuckwit; may find themselves stabbed.
I miss being nasty about other departments. When Sales didn't make their targets last quarter it was quite evidently because "they are weak". The solution is obvious - "a bit less carrot, and a bit more stick".
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27.4.04 21:36
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